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Monday, November 21, 2016

LAST RANGER #05 - THE WAR WEAPONS
















The doomsday epic from Craig Sargent rolls on as Martin Stone continues his pursuit of that raving lunatic Major Patton...although he isn't really a Major and he doesn't even have a military record. But Hell, it's doomsday and anything goes. After Stone saved the world in book four, "The Rabid Brigadier", he sets out on a path to crush Patton and take the world title championship belt. 

This one picks up as Stone and his rag-tag clan of overnight heroes pursue the Major in Bradley tanks across the desert. Sargent does his best detailing the Bradley machines and their positioning and pursuit of the baddies. I think he's probably a bit off with the tank mechanics and technical prowess but who cares when he is providing this much explosive firepower. Right? Right. And what's the deal with this superpooch dog Stone has been carrying around through the wasteland? You are telling me this thing has lived through maniacal rapers and apocalyptic raiders? I call bullshit.

After a hot pursuit through the desert the gang gets obliterated, wreck the tanks and Stone ends up being captured by the Major. In true "Missing in Action 2" and "Rambo 2" style the Major and his savages go to work in the torture chapter. Stone gets annihilated by beatings and then staked out on a massive wooden X after being dipped in Honey Smacks....no Teddy Grahams....wait just some sort of sweet sticky substance that attracts massive ants. Do they have honey mustard in the apocalypse? Soon Stone is a Golden Corral buffet as the ants swarm onto him and start chewing up the baby fat like a rat on a cheeto....or a mutant ant on honey dipped man-candy. "Left to die in the wasteland" doesn't last long though. A hot-ass Cheyenne warrior named Meyra shows up for the triple-X action. Before Stone begins to bone...the Cheyenne warrior princess rubs "healing paste" all over our hero and makes him good as new. Goldbond powder? After a miracle healing and a good lay Stone joins the Cheyenne warriors on an all-out assault on the Major and his goons. Wham-Bang-Boom and this one is in the books...the book...the book series. 

Afterthoughts...yeah it was predictable and maybe even a little short on plot but the end result is another classic 80s action yarn in what has been a really good post-apocalypse series thus far. 

Bring on book six and the return of another vile villain with "The Warlord's Revenge"!