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Friday, July 29, 2016

LAST RANGER #04 - THE RABID BRIGADIER

"The Rabid Brigadier" from Craig Sargent, real name Jan Stacy, continues the wasteland survival tale of the bad-ass, barrel-chested Martin Stone. The book released in 1987 by Popular Library and is the fourth of ten books that fall under the "Last Ranger" series. Will it live up to the high-octane thrill ride of the first 3 entries? I'm on pins and needles - let's roll baby. 

By 1987 Jan Stacy had completed the first four books of the "Doomsday Warrior" series, co-written by John Sievert, and had "The Last Ranger" series on his plate full-time by '87. Sadly, Stacy died from the AIDS virus in 1989 and I often wonder if his diagnosis this late may have had some impact on his writing style. This book is shoddily crafted and doesn't resonate with the same attention to detail that the series' first entries had. While the book is entertaining and continues the epic journey of Martin Stone, it leaves the reader with wanting a bit more out of their paperback warriors. 


The book picks up right after the events of the third book...remember dwarves, big Colorado fortress, huge explosion...and the truckload of whores? Yeah Stone gets buried in an avalanche of debris and wakes up to bodies everywhere. He gets his bearings, way-lays some biker scum and finds his dog Excalibur. Die dog die, for God's sake just die. From there it's cut and paste and I nailed it within the first 30 pages...


An injured water-logged Stone gets picked up by a new military force called NAA - New American Army. They have little patches on their uniforms of two M-16s crossing the US flag that notates they are mutant killing baddies off to cleanse the world and create a new order. Stone befriends them at first and later finds they are indeed fascist bullies controlled by an arch-enemy in the making called General Patton III. He wants all the warehouses of Bounty Quicker-Picker-Upper and he wants them NOW! Not really. But what does he want? I mean it's the end of the world. You can do anything, go anywhere...postal is totally the new black. What's with all this remaking America garbage. 


Stone gets invited to their camp and immediately gets tended to his groin by nurse Elizabeth. You can pretty much gather that any female characters that show up in "The Last Ranger" series is really just fodder for Stone's apparently massive penis. It doesn't take long before Stone is jack-hammering nurse Elizabeth and what amounts to a XXX rated two and a half pages of "pee on your butt". After that Stone is all better and physically fit to join Patton's ranks as Major. Purged baby. But it doesn't last long as Stone eventually finds that Patton is in league with the devil and hopes to baptize the world with nuclear fire - THREE nuclear warhead launch sites. Stone stops one missile from being detonated by shooting it out of the sky with an anti-aircraft rocket (Stone is Reagan's Star Wars program!).  BUT the General escapes and Stone sets out with his new buddies and three tanks. Oh and he has that dog. 


Bring on book five, "The War Weapons", to find out who Stone bones next and where the Hell Patton has ran off to. That silly fanatic.