Google+ Followers

Sunday, June 15, 2014

LAST RANGER #03 - MADMAN'S MANSION

"The Last Ranger has a special reason for wanting to penetrate this den of iniquity. He knows his sister April is there, kidnapped by the dwarf's henchmen - and about to be sold into white slavery...

He is America's Last Hope in American's Darkest Age!


With that well said preface we are off and running in the third entry of this post-apocalyptic series of bravado adventure. This was released in 1986 via Popular Library among the hysteria of the pending nuclear war with the Soviet Union. Those of you that have read my previous blog entries have already read my review of the first two books of this series. The premise is pretty simple...Martin Stone is the son of a high ranking, highly experienced US Army Ranger who died along with Stone's mother in a post-nuclear battle with marauders. Stone was left with a pit bull named Excalibur (fitting) and enough firepower and ammo to take out North Korea single-handed. Along with the guns, martial arts training and "survival" education is a motorcyle that is armed with missles (remember the 80s show "Streethawk"?) and Stone's enormous penis...which he typically sticks into any blonde bombshells that finds their way into Chapter Fifteen.


I really enjoyed the first two issues of the series. "Madman's Mansion" is a continuation of the story that book two, "Savage Stronghold", presented. Stone's sister April has been kidnapped by a wheelchair bound dwarf and taken to a Colorado ski-resort that is filled with baddies. These aren't just your normal "Mad Max"' hooligans, instead these are the baddest of the bad that are up to all kinds of tom foolery. This resort is filled with sex, bondage, slaves, drugs, gambling and...FIGHTING TO THE DEATH gladiator bouts. 


The beginning of the book gives us a wore out Stone on his way back to his secret mountainside fortress to indulge in sleep, eating and reloading. From there he travels by motorcycle through back roads of Colorado wilderness on a trek to the ski resort. He stops for the night in a small town and engages in the obligatory game of cards that results in a few dead cheaters and a friendship with a traveling salesman named Kennedy. He explains to Kennedy that he is going to the resort and OF COURSE Kennedy is going there as well. Apparently the traveling vagabond puts on a Christmas show in the resort every year and he can get Stone inside using a disguise. I am just guessing here...but baddies that are engaging in gambling, snorting, humping debauchery probably won't take the time to watch Mr. Kennedy's Christmas play...but maybe that is just foolish thinking. 

Once inside Stone penetrates a blonde bombshell in Chapter Fifteen (told ya!) and finds his sister being sold into sex slavery. He bids on her and wins but soon the disguise fails and the dwarf captures Stone and forces him into a water filled dungeon filled with snakes, giant roaches and killer rats. Conan couldn't escape this kind of nonsense but Stone manages to free himself with the help of Kennedy. A huge firefight erupts and Kennedy escapes the burning resort with April as Stone kills the dwarf and rides out using a Mack truck. The book comes to an abrupt end as Stone is left with a truckload of whores and Kennedy/April are somewhere in the vast wilderness waiting for Stone to rescue them in book four.